31/12 || 1:07am
I was at work, doing my thing and I got a message from Ashlea asking me to visit her. I know she has had a rough time lately with the upcoming anniversary of her dads death and her best friends car accident.
I drove over there after work (11pm) and I never know what to say to people who are upset or distraught.
On a side-note , I have never really lost anyone really close to me that I knew well. My next door neighbour growing up passed this year but thats it. I just don't know what its like.
I just hugged her and listened to everything she had to say :(
She is such a strong girl, to go through all this shit and still be a half decent person (although some substance abuse, but who's perfect?)
I would settle to be half the person she is. I admire her as a person.
PS. Jordiana, I'm so sorry I can't make it
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
Slipping Into A Coma
People tell me to be less pessimistic,
but I 'm just trying real hard to be realistic.
I feel my anger rise as I’m witnessing
that people are slipping into coma.
Saturday, November 28, 2009
Thursday, October 22, 2009
Monday, October 19, 2009
Sunday, October 18, 2009
New Friend Request
So last friday I went to see some bands with my friend, ZIl.
Looking around and seeing all the young eager faces staring... Not staring at the bands tearing their heart and souls apart for them on stage, but all the other young faces 'bringing the mosh'.
It clicked how much I dispise what 'hardcore' is now, has it lost all its meaning from the 80s?
Makes me really mad that all they can think about it who 'throws down' the best.
Enough about that, that's not what this blog is about.
This one is about the Zil.
I have really gotten close to her in the last few months. It has been like this before, then I fuck things up... We have known eachother for a good 3 years.
Finally sharing a kiss Friday night after I took her home.
I have to say it was probably the best thing that has happened to me this year. Even if I shouldn't have done it, it felt so very right.
I couldnt count the amount of nights I have stayed awake thinking about her and sharing a kiss with her. Picturing what it would be like... I have to say it was far beyond what I pictured.
Is this what love actually is?
I don't even know, I have never felt real love...
That's all.
Looking around and seeing all the young eager faces staring... Not staring at the bands tearing their heart and souls apart for them on stage, but all the other young faces 'bringing the mosh'.
It clicked how much I dispise what 'hardcore' is now, has it lost all its meaning from the 80s?
Makes me really mad that all they can think about it who 'throws down' the best.
Enough about that, that's not what this blog is about.
This one is about the Zil.
I have really gotten close to her in the last few months. It has been like this before, then I fuck things up... We have known eachother for a good 3 years.
Finally sharing a kiss Friday night after I took her home.
I have to say it was probably the best thing that has happened to me this year. Even if I shouldn't have done it, it felt so very right.
I couldnt count the amount of nights I have stayed awake thinking about her and sharing a kiss with her. Picturing what it would be like... I have to say it was far beyond what I pictured.
Is this what love actually is?
I don't even know, I have never felt real love...
That's all.
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
Loneliness
I wonder if some of can go through life without having friends.
I don't mean no outside contact, that would just be silly.
I mean without getting close to someone? Some days I wish I could do that.
Without all the dramas and pressures of watching out for other peoples feelings...
Who knows?
Just provoking some thoughts...
I don't mean no outside contact, that would just be silly.
I mean without getting close to someone? Some days I wish I could do that.
Without all the dramas and pressures of watching out for other peoples feelings...
Who knows?
Just provoking some thoughts...
Sunday, August 2, 2009
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