In Man We Trust

I just "stumbled" upon this very lovely blog post about myself.

I thought I would like to share.

Quite strong, but can't say I don't deserve it...

I hate you.

I hate you with a passion I've only felt once before, but the emotion it was enforcing was love. For you, strangely enough.

For months I have tried to suppress my anger and loathing for you. It hasn't worked. I'm seething inside with no way to release my aggression.

I should have fucking hit you. I should have shouted at you, and told you exactly how I see you.

You are pathetic and weak; a coward who clings onto girls in a poor attempt to feel good about yourself. But it never works out, does it? You always end up fucking another girl, and another, and soon you find yourself so caught up in your lies, that you don't have a way out.

I've never believed that people are completely good, or that their intentions are always pure, but I still cannot possibly comprehend what a cruel human you are. I wonder frequently if you have any conscience; if you ever look at yourself in the mirror and realise how much of a putrid being you truly are.

If you read this, good on you. You can verbally assault me all you wish, because I know I am a good person when compared to the vile piece of shit that you are today. Abuse me via the internet all you want, because your words won't affect me. Not anymore. You hold nothing more over me. Any inch of affection I had left for you is gone.

I will never, ever rekindle love for you, as I've done before. The greatest mistake of my life was letting you back into my life. I'll admit that. I just wish that I could have realised it then, that you are not worth my time of day.

Not anymore.

So, this is formally my last entry that will mention you. Ever. My ex boyfriend, my ex love, the person who I thought would help me through life, no matter what happened. The only person I've ever completely trusted. You knew everything about me, and, I thought I knew everything about you. You were my life; my everything. My entire being.

Never again.

You are disgusting. I would spit at your feet, if I could. I hope to fucking hell that I never encounter you again, for if I do, I won't be able to stop myself from running up to you and hurting you. I've lost all of my sanity regarding you, and what you've done to me.

Don't push me, because I will fucking do it. I'll do anything to make you feel pain. Though, it could never be the pain that you've caused so many girls to feel, including me.

Thinking of the sex we had, the intimacy we shared, makes me want to vomit.

You're a vulgar being. I want you gone from my memories, from my life.

I hope you die alone and loveless.